For any of you who know me personally, you will know that I have always struggled with my weight. Even as a child, I have always been overweight. I've also always had very low self-esteem my entire life, or at least for as long as I can remember. I've always been very insecure about the way I look, especially my weight. Honestly, there isn't really anything that I do like about myself physically. That's the way I've always been, and up until now I have always been ok with being unhappy with myself. Or at least I have been telling myself that I'm ok with it, but I don't think it's possible to be happy about disliking yourself. It couldn't be healthy for me, or for my kids to feel that way.
Lately I've also been really thinking about the way my eating habits and my lack of exercise are effecting my children and their lives. I am showing and teaching them that it is ok for someone to eat unhealthy (almost all the time), and to not exercise. My biggest downfall is probably that I don't hardly ever drink water. I'll be honest, just about the only time I EVER drink water is if I am either taking a medication with it, or if we are out of anything else to drink. Literally. I will choose to drink milk before I will choose water. Blogging about it is making my unhealthy lifestyle even more real to me right now.
In the past I have tried 'dieting', and I have even done pretty well at time times. But most of the time, I come up with an excuse as to why I can't heat healthy (I can't afford it, I don't know how to cook like that, etc.) and as to why I can't excercise (I don't have the time, What am I going to do with Aiden?, etc.). So, this time, I'm not going to go on any 'diet', I'm not going to stress about calorie counting, I'm not going to worry about how many calories I burn in a day.
But what I am going to do is make a promise. A promise to myself, and to my children. And that promise is that I am going to be healthier. I am going to do my best to eat healthier, and exercise more. I can't say that I am going to completely cut everything unhealthy out of my diet, and there may be days when I don't exercise. But I'm not going to stress myelf out about it. In the past when I've 'dieted', I've always stressed out about it. Which has always led to me giving up and just returning to my normal lifestyle. So I'm not even going to call this change in my life a 'diet'. I am going to call it my wellness plan. Dieting makes it sound too much like it's all about losing weight, but for me it's more than that. I'm just trying to be healthy. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose (even though I'm sure I will lose weight), all that matters is that I am healthy, and that I am teaching my kids to be healthy too.
So, please wish me luck! I know I will need it, as I am hoping this will be life changing for me and my family. I am interested in hearing any suggestions that you all may have for me, so please comment your suggestions! Thanks so much. I am going to try to post weekly updates of my plan and how it is progressing. So stay tuned. =)
Three Years in Heaven
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